Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Personal Essay :)

      Hello, my name is Sarah. I'm half Korean half Vietnamese. My family has 4 people: my mom, my dad, me and my little brother. My best memory is when I studied in Kindergarten. When I was 2 years old, my mom took me to a school name Fosco. I got so nervous I peed my pants. But luckily, my mom brought extra pants, my mom changed clothes for me. So the bell rang and my first day of school began. My 1st friend was Sirsuk Mai Anh. She studied here last year but now she moved back to Thailand. We had a fun time in kindergarten! It was play time, we got out to play! I was really shy so i didn't go anywhere, but i got used to it everyday and had a lot of fun. Me and Anna sometimes got mad and hit each other but at that time, we were just kids so we were just mad at each other for like a few minutes and then played again with each other. One day, I did a test, it was like a counting from 1 to 10 test and I forgot how to write number eight! The teacher were really mad at me and I almost cried! Other times, me and Anna did really well on the test. There was one time that me and Anna bumped heads, like I was running at the right side and Anna was running in the left side and we bumped heads. Me and Anna still have a big bump on our head right now. That really hurt but that is one of the greatest moments between me and Anna. I don't remember if Anna cried but for me, I'm sure that I cried alot. There was one time that when the teacher was teaching, me and Anna were talking about barbie and the teacher forced us to kneel for 15 minutes. After that, we cried, then after a few minutes, we laugh again and start on our old "topic" "BARBIE". That was the greatest memory that I have in my life. I really miss Anna Sirsuk now, I still contact her on facebook but I wish we can have that great moment now! I miss u Anna :(
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2 comments:

  1. PatrickSeptember 2, 2010 at 10:31 PM

    So Sarah, it looks to me like your main idea is how losing your best friend is hard and has changed you. I want you to focus more on how losing her has changed you. I like the different anecdotes about your good times with Anna, but you don't tell me about your feelings enough. Also there was no climax and very little resolution. Make sure you focus on one event and tell show how that event changed you. For example you could use one of the situations as a hook and then write about what happened when Anna moved and how it affected you.

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  2. Sarah OhSeptember 5, 2010 at 9:20 PM

    OH! Losing her make me change because when i lose her,it make me feel like a part of me is gone and i try to make that up. When me and Anna were friend, i don't like to have other friend but when Anna gone, i started to community or wise so i have more friend :D

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